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Tuesday
May112010

Sammy the Spider

About a month ago I noticed a large spider on my car. It was on my outside mirror and very quickly ran into the car. Now this is not a small spider, the cane spider, which resembles a daddy long legs stance, can reach up to 3-4 inches across and 2 inches tall (that’s not with legs out straight but standing). The one I saw was only about 2X 11/2 inches. I thought I caught it and put it under my house but about 3 weeks ago I noticed it again. I was driving on the lower road between Honaunau and Kealakekua Bay and it ran across from my driver’s window to the center of my console. Of course I totally freaked and if you know that road, it is a one-lane road in the middle of a lava field. My friend said to stop the car and he would drive. The spider ran under the steering wheel and up by the gas pedal. He was just as nervous as I had been wondering if it was crawling over his foot, but we made it home. When we arrived home we made an industrious search of the car but couldn’t find it. 

Over the next week, I thought of the spider every moment I was in the car, trying to make sure it wasn’t crawling over my feet. I hunted the dreaded spider every time I got in or out of my car. I thought maybe it had left but then I was swimming at 2 steps at Honaunau Bay and when I went to put my swim gear back in the car, there it was in the well of the back door. It had grown and was now about 3x2 inches. I laughed and said hello, realizing that I couldn’t be afraid of this spider for the rest of its life. It had set up residence in my car and I only prayed it didn’t have a family. I realized I couldn’t be afraid for the rest of my life if I was ever going to be able to drive my car. It’s scrambled into an opening of the door hinge and I knew it was living anyplace it wanted to go in my car.

This morning, it popped its head out again as I opened the rear tailgate, and I recognized a new friend. As I thought about it, I understood that I had been going through a transition within myself about people that I often find irritating. People who bothered me began coming into my life. I began to look at them in a new way. I found that the irritation was caused by someone else’s expectations and opinions of them that I had taken on. When I began to get to know them, I actually found that we had many things in common and that I truly liked them. I feel that I have made new friendships in the last month of old people that I had known for many years but had not really gotten to know.

The spider is such a wonderful teacher. If you read my blog ‘Along Came a Spider’, then you saw how that spider taught me about compassion and noncritical nature. This spider is teaching me about things that I am afraid of because of an uncertainty within myself. Often we take opinions of others over our own exploration and understanding of people that we meet in our lives. When someone says, ‘oh, I don’t like that person’, we often take their feelings and project them onto the other person. We never really get to know that person because we are stuck in the other person’s paradigm. We waste energy avoiding them, judging them, or just disliking them. As with the spider, I spend a lot of time holding my energy in and being afraid of it coming close to me. 

I appreciate that there’s so much more to life than spending time disliking something or someone for no apparent reason. When we hear someone else’s opinion of someone, stop and see that opinion coming from their own life journey. Take the time to assess this person in your own space and time and through your own eyes. It is such a waste of energy to be afraid of someone or something as my spider reminded me of. If you find truly that this person is someone you don’t care to hang around with, then bless them and honor your own knowingness. I would much rather spend my day being in joy than being afraid of what life might bring. I made a commitment to myself last night to call one friend that I have never asked to do anything with and ask them to go with me next time when I want to go to a movie, or just hang around in the afternoon. That way I will get to know them by spending one-on-one time with them and stretching my comfort zone. It’s just a new growth spurt.

By the way, I named my car guest Sammy the spider. I’m hoping that it’s a male not a female. One spider I can deal with but not a whole family. Carpe diem, seize the day and enjoy life to its fullest.

References (4)

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Reader Comments (1)

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