Being In A State of Awareness

Before I left on my journey, I had a friend tell me that I would meet someone in my travels to Palm Desert. She told me to be observant of those that came into my life. Yesterday was one of those days of being aware.

I had just arrived in Palm Springs to see a friend who I haven't seen for a year. We got to the pool and before I could slip into the pool we heard a gentleman ask if I could drive him to his bank. What an odd request from a complete stranger and especially when my girlfriend had just connected about 10 minutes before. He stated that his electricity had been turned off because of repairs and his car had been locked into his garage. He had looked around for a friend to take him and could find no one.

I was very torn because #1 I did not know who he was and #2 my friend would be left alone if I took him. And with her children there she could not drive this man, it was up to me. I asked my higher self what to do. I was told strongly to go. Perhaps this was who I was supposed to meet.

As we headed out to the car he invited myself, my girlfriend and her mother to an evening at his home, only it would be in two days time. My girlfriend was going to be heading back to work and to her home north of LA and her mom would be watching the kids. Palm Springs is over a half hour drive from our home in Palm Desert. It seemed an odd invitation but I realized that I could make it, I only needed to step out of my comfort zone.

On the way to the bank we talked about where I was from and he had a home on the same island where I live. He told me a bit about his travel plans for the year and the homes he had around the states.

He also told me that he appreciated the gift of service that I had given him. He said he always tried to help others in need and that it came second nature. I was glad that my discomfort did not stop me from helping him.

Perhaps he was a gift from the spirit world. In Hawaii there is a legend that if you see and old woman walking along the side of the road and she stops you and asks for a ride, that it is important to offer. Pele (the goddess of the volcano and a strong spirit of Hawaii) tests you. Offering her the ride is a selfless service and after you let her out at her destination she often disappears as you look back in your mirror.

What gifts does the land bring? What are you willing to receive? Being in a state of awareness of the people and gifts around you blesses each and every step of your journey here on earth. Be kind to all you meet, walk gently on this earth, stay in a place of the heart, and be open to what crosses our path. Who knows what this event on Friday will bring but I am open to the possibilities.

Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

Service to Others, Service to Self

I am on my summer sojourn to the mainland from my home in Hawaii. After connecting in Portland, OR to my family and a few friends, I traveled to Palm Desert, CA for my own retreat of solitude.

The desert is quiet in a way that Hawaii is not. There is a stillness that I have not found other places. It is almost as if at times you are in a vacuum of soundlessness. This vacuum gives you permission just to sit for hours in idle contemplation and nourish your soul.

I never know what brings me back to the mainland but I am always observing what comes onto my path. I met a friend who recently was diagnosed with cancer and although he has never traded a session with me, he accepted a trade. I was told that one of the main reasons that I was on my journey was to work with him. Did I come to help him to heal his body or merely to help him find a peace in his spirit? I do not know nor do I have an agenda. I know that spirit works through me and I am joyous in that space.

What keeps us locked into the world of the mundane - of work and play and everyday life without the deep connection to source and service? A piece of the puzzle is the feeling of abandonment, not only from others but also from what we perceive as GOD, the divine, or life source. That feeling of separation, of loneliness, of not being loved.

We decide at an early age that Mom and Dad are not always there for us. They leave us at a sitter, they are tired and just need space, they are not happy in their own life and so the child feels that unhappiness and feels unloved. We make decisions that form our psyche. We learn to put walls up that protect us from that separation, that make it okay, or that make us act out in inappropriate ways. We learn to be selfless and take on the responsibility of helping others so that they will either love us more, or we feel that we can fix them.

Let me set something straight. The only person we can change is ourselves. We don't or can't fix someone else. People make decisions every day about what they choose to do and be. That choice is one of the greatest gifts that we have on this planet. But it can also be our nemesis.

One of the main reasons I quit mainstream, allopathic medicine is that people want a quick fix. They go to the doctor, or in my case a Nurse Practitioner and want a magic pill, or an adjustment, or someone to tell them what to do. They are given diet or lifestyle changes that never get implemented because it is too much work. Most medications do not get taken as they are supposed to, like timing (they take it 2 or 3 times a day instead of the prescribed 4 times a day), the length of time that they are supposed to be taking them or the side effects make them sick and they just quit. How many medicine cabinets have you seen with half used bottles of prescription medicine?

If you haven't truly connected to the 'service to self' in your daily life then you have not learned to nurture yourself. Nurturing yourself is not about going out and buying that dress or tennis racquet that you see and decide you need. Service to self is about nurturing the spirit, connecting to your heart and learning that you are a divine being that is full of love for all and connected to all things. It is remembering that we are worthwhile beings and important in our own right. We learn to honor all others as we honor our self and our journey is as important as their journey.

That leads to the journey of 'service to others'. When we truly open our hearts to ourselves, then we can see that same light in everyone else. It is the light that sometimes we see clearer than they do. So we begin to ignore their behavior, because in our divine love space, we cannot believe that they would be doing something that is not in divine light. We think they will change or we think we can fix them. Neither is true and both are true. If we stay in the space of divine love, we can be of more service to each other. Others will feel the light and love from our hearts and it helps ignite a seed of remembrance in their heart. Some people are not ready to open to the seed but it has been planted. Do we get angry at someone who does not take the seed and allow it to grow, or do we show them by example how to nurture that seed?

When we carry the burden (responsibility) of their lives, then we do them no favors. We haul the soil, dig the hole, plant the seed, water it, make sure it gets the right light. Because they have not had to do the work, they do not care nor nurture their garden. We have not taught them by example how to grow that seed of light, we have tried to do it for them. If we know that they will not take care of it and then get angry because the plant dies or the seed does not germinate, then have we nurtured ourselves or them? That is what holding responsibility for someone else looks like. It is sure to cause resentment because we have wasted our time trying to do something for someone else that would rather learn for themselves, or not do it at all.

Service to others is an honoring of their path. Everyone has different lessons and choices in life. The greatest gift you can give them is to teach them to grow by example. But to do that you have to be a clear light, without expectations for yourself or them. Learn to love unconditionally. In that learn discernment and if someone is not truthful in their actions, walk away but keep shining your light.

Stepping Into Liquid

What causes us to step into an addiction? We all have them in one form or another. After working for many years in the field of drug and alcohol addiction and mental health I have found that most often it is a search for love. Often those who do fall into the abyss have never thought about what it is like to love themselves. And what pulls them out is finding that it is not selfish to begin falling into love with self.

As a child we are taught not to be selfish. We are told to always think of others first. It is a good thought to avoid narcissism but unhealthy love of self is either an inborn trait (karma) or a lack of love. To honor oneself is so important to our self-esteem and so healing to our inner child. We need to learn that if we don't love ourselves unconditionally, we can't love someone else without conditions.

So, what are addictions? The dictionary gives one definition of: a state of physiological or psychological dependence on a potentially harmful drug. If you look at a drug as something that numbs or excites, you will not only have to add drug and alcohol addiction but also food, sexual addiction or many others. What they fill inside is a longing that is a sense of desperation, not fitting in, or lack of love and a form of abandonment.

Of course we don’t do it for that reason but deep down inside it is our hurt child that acts out, sometimes in an ‘I’ll show you’ attitude. It never hurts them in the same way it hurts you. If you get a sliver and don’t take it out it just keeps festering in the same way if you have a deep emotional injury and don’t take it out, it gets bigger. That is why communication is so important.

My father used to tell me that I shouldn’t eat something because it would keep me from loosing weight. I was never thin enough for him. He was so critical about how I looked that I decided after trying for so long to loose weight and even when I did he wasn’t satisfied (because of a lack within himself from his childhood upbringing). I began eating just to prove that I could. I never felt I could tell him how I felt because I didn’t feel strong enough to go against him.

If we are not open in our communication, afraid to speak our feelings because of repercussions, then we are living in suppression and a lie. When parents don’t speak to their children about their feelings and honor them as separate beings unto themselves, if they treat them as something they own, then they take away their sense of self. We become afraid to speak the truth because we are afraid they won’t love us, won’t be our friend, and in the end, reject us. What we learn is to not speak our truth so we don’t go into that feeling of rejection. We limit our relationship with others (partner, children, friends, family, etc.) so it doesn’t hurt inside.

So when we feel that hurt we may choose to feed our addictions: we drink, do drugs, overeat, or get into a sexual relationship that is not healthy for us. When we don’t have respect for our self then we can’t fully love someone else.

Now is as good a time as any to look into that most important question…do you love yourself? Be truly honest with yourself and answer it with your heart, and then take the sliver out and start becoming healthy.